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  • Writer's pictureEmre Özarslan

YOU KNOW MY NAME, NOT MY STORY



You know my name, not my story. You know my smile, not my pain. You notice my cuts, not my scars. You can read my lips, not my mind. You don't know me.
- Anonymous


Renowned author John Maxwell, famous for his leadership books, sits in a hotel lobby before a seminar, engaging in conversation with an elderly man. Without revealing his identity, Maxwell only asks questions, attentively listening. At the night's end, the elderly man remarks, "You're the most interesting person I've talked to in a long time."

 

"To be interesting," we think, "we must have unconventional ideas, be in authentic places, do interesting things, and meet fascinating people."

"Ask the right questions and listen attentively."

 

Yes, people seek advice—reading books, watching videos, listening to experts, striving to find elements that enhance their lives. Yet, beyond valuable advice, there's a deeper need:

 

"To be heard" and "to feel understood."


Each of us believes there's something valuable we can offer to the world. And it's true; with our ideas, products, services, and creations, we can add value to the lives of those around us.


But perhaps the most valuable thing we can offer people is to make them feel heard and understood.


The key to understanding people lies in asking the right questions:


"What is the story of these individuals? Why do they suffer the most? What wounds hurt them the most? What do these individuals think about most in their daily lives?"


When we listen to the answers with attentive ears, the people in front of us transform from an uncertain mass to familiar faces.


Once we know our audience, we can present our works, products, and ideas in a way that resonates with their empathy.


And when we present ourselves authentically, we are understood correctly.


Isn't that what we desire most of all?

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